A Reflection on Being Faced with Cancer
I would pay a great deal of attention to the inner healing process that I hoped a cancer diagnosis would trigger in me. I would give careful thought to the meaning of my life, what I had to let go of and what I wanted to keep.
I would give careful thought to choosing a mainstream oncologist. I wouldn’t need someone with wonderful empathetic skills because I have other people to provide that. But I would want a doctor who is basically kind, is on top of the medical literature regarding my disease, takes time to answer my questions, understands that I want to be deeply involved in treatment decisions, supports my use of complementary therapies, and sticks with me medically and emotionally if I were facing death.
I would use conventional therapies that offered a real chance for recovery, but I might not use experimental therapies or therapies with a low probability of success that were toxic or compromised my capacity to live and die as I choose.
I would use complementary therapies. I would look for a good support group and/or a psychologist experienced in working with people with cancer. I’ve been a vegetarian for many years but I would look for ways to enhance my nutrition. I would meditate and practice yoga more often, and spend more time in nature, taking walks in the woods, by the ocean, and in the mountains.
I would strive for life and recovery, with every possible tool and resource I could find. But I would also work to face death in a way that deepened my growth and led to some resolution.
I would spend time with people I value, and with books, writing, music, and God. I would do everything that I could that I didn’t want to leave undone. I would not waste time with old obligations, though I would try to extricate myself from them decently.
I would try to live my own life in my own way. I would try to accept the pain and sorrow inherent in my situation, but I would look searchingly for the beauty, wisdom, and the joy. Rabbi Michael Lerner
A sick person endowed with five qualities is easy to tend to: he or she does what is amenable to his or her cure; they know the proper amount in things amenable to their cure; they take their medicine; they tell their symptoms, as they actually are present, to the nurse desiring his or her welfare, saying that they are worse when they are worse, improving when they are improving, or remaining the same when they are remaining the same; and they are the type (of person) who can endure bodily feelings that are painful, fierce, sharp, wracking, repellent, disagreeable, life-threatening. A sick person endowed with these five qualities is easy to tend to.
Nurses endowed with five qualities are fit to tend to the sick: They are competent at mixing medicine; they know what is amenable or unamenable to the patient’s cure, taking away things that are unamenable and bringing things that are amenable; they are motivated by thoughts of good will, not by material gain; they do not get disgusted at cleaning up excrement, urine, saliva, or vomit; and they are competent at instructing, urging, rousing, & encouraging the sick person at the proper occasions with a talk on Dhamma( what is true). Nurses endowed with these five qualities are fit to tend to the sickThe Buddha
On one occasion the Buddha discovered a monk whose body was covered with sores, his robe sticking to the body with pus oozing from the sores. Unable to look after him, his fellow monks had abandoned him. On discovering this monk, the Buddha boiled water and washed the monk with his own hands, then cleaned and dried his robes. When the monk felt comforted the Buddha preached to him and he became an Arahant, soon after which he passed away. Thus the Buddha not only advocated the importance of looking after the sick, he also set a noble example by himself ministering to those who were so ill that they were even considered repulsive by others. Dhammapada
According to the Buddha, those who are highly developed are able to remain mentally healthy even while physically ill. Once Nakulapita visited the Buddha in old age, and the Master advised him to remain mentally healthy even though the body is feeble. If, when one has physical pain, one becomes worried and adds mental pain too, that is like being shot with two arrows.
Samyutta Nikaya
The Buddha recommends that a person should not relax his energy and determination for spiritual progress even when he is ill. It is possible that the illness might deteriorate, and before that happens care should be taken to advance spiritually as much as possible. After recovering from an illness, too, one should not be negligent, because, should there be a relapse, the chances of gaining higher spiritual attainments diminish. Anguttara Nikaya
Generally, there is much material in the Pali Canon on counseling the terminally ill. Speaking about death to a terminally ill patient is not avoided as an unpleasant topic. On the contrary, the reality of death and perhaps its imminence are accepted without any pretense and the patient is made to face the prospect of death with confidence and tranquility. Lily de Silva
Finally, we need to realize that the body is just another thing that is not ours. We need to die to the body now by seeing its impermanence and by realizing how little control we have over it. In this way we remain at peace as it goes through all of its changes which will eventually end in its death.
PREPARATION ASSIGNMENT #33
ILLNESS #2
Reflections regarding Alzheimer’s Disease
- It robs you of who you thought you were.
- There is currently no way out of the disease once it begins to manifest. However, there are now drugs that may slow down the process.
- No one is immune to the disease.
- Fifteen years ago there were 500,000 cases. Today there are 5,000,000
- With the aging of the baby boomers the numbers will explode.
- It is predicted that by 2030 much of the federal budget will be devoted to caring for Alzheimer’s patients.
- The disease touches one of the most basic human fears – loss of memory and self identity.
- The time between diagnosis and death is 8 – 20 years.
- During the course of the disease the neurons can no longer talk to one another and synapses begin to disappear. Fewer and fewer new thoughts are able to form and forgetting begins. Names and words are hard to recall and familiar places seem foreign and familiar faces seem like strangers. The brain begins to shrink. Personality changes including anger, fear, and paranoia can erupt without warning. Speech fades into silence. Finally, parts of the brain controlling basic functions such as breathing or swallowing begin to shut down.
- It is very difficult on the family who are aware of the course of the disease and the changes to their loved one.
- Alzheimer’s disease is called “The Long Goodbye.”
- Many with memory problems associated with natural aging ask the question, is it Alzheimer’s? There are significant differences. With Alzheimer’s the information doesn’t go in to begin with so there is no memory. In normal forgetting what you could not recall may come to you later. In Alzheimer’s you forget that you forgot.
If you are interested in an in depth look at the causes, the symptoms, the process, and the support that can be given, there is an excellent DVD called The Forgetting: A Portrait of Alzheimer’s, produced by PBS. It describes the disease, shows the course of the disease through first person stories, and has a section called “The Help You Need.” Seeing this DVD is not a requirement for the training.
The World of Mental Illness
- Two main forms of mental illness include schizophrenia and affective disorders such as bipolar disorder and major depressive disorder.
- The subjective experience of mental illness may include feelings of fear and confusion; poor ego boundaries which creates a confused sense of who the person is; feeling out of control; attributing special meanings to mundane events; feeling that almost everything that happens is related to oneself; rambling on about unrelated events; hypersensitivity to criticism; feelings of despair; and loss of energy.
- Caring for someone with mental illness can be extraordinarily challenging. It is important to show respect for the person since their self-esteem may be quite low. Be calm, straightforward, and use short sentences keeping in mind that the person may have difficulty hearing what is being said since their mind is confused. Separate the person from the illness. Maintain a positive attitude. Develop realistic goals. Establish a stable environment setting up rules and limitations. Avoid arguing with delusions. Be loving and accepting. Take breaks and care for oneself.
- Individuals who grew up with a relative who had a mental illness commonly experience denial, confusion, shame, sadness, guilt, fear, frustration, anger, and resentment. It may impact the person’s social relationships, family dynamics, and feelings of security or emotional well-being.
Of course there is much more that can be said about mental illness including suicide prevention (where possible), handling basic symptoms, balancing the needs of the patient with family and personal concerns, and working with mental-health professionals. An excellent resource book is When Someone You Love Has a Mental Illness by Rebecca Woolis. It is not required reading.
Friends, the reason for briefly exploring Alzheimer’s and mental illness is to help us face the realities of life. The Buddha and many other enlightened teachers throughout the centuries taught us to maintain equanimity in the face of aging, illness, and death. This capacity is cultivated by daily practice and maintaining mindfulness throughout the day. It prepares the mind to be present, and not reactive, to whatever arises in our moment to moment experience. This enables us to skillfully work with the many difficulties inevitably associated with living.
