14. Death and Dying #1

 

A bird does not sing because it has an answer. It sings because it has a song.

 

Chinese Proverb

 

We may read about people who are afraid of death and the dying process that is associated with it and we ma even know someone who has had this experience. However, there are those who die with their hearts full of love and with a profound spiritual clarity. Theirs is an experience beyond merely having a “peaceful” death.

 

A wise person once told that, in general, we die in the way that we live. I have seen this to be true so very often. But as soon as we change the way we are living we change the way we will die.

 

What is the process by which these individuals died contented and spiritually fulfilled? What enabled them to make death a celebration of life? The contemplations that will follow in the next few weeks are designed to help us realize that the body’s death is natural and the memories will fade away, but life itself never dies. In order to realize this we need to face death directly and explore it from many perspectives. It is truly a remarkable journey. There is no reason to shy away from this exploration  merely because we are healthy or young.

 

We will begin with merely practical considerations. Without facing these mundane considerations, one may find it difficult to work with the deeper levels of consciousness regarding death and dying. Some of you may feel that you are too young to deal with these issues, since death is so very far away. Is it? How do you know?

 

It is not expected that you will complete everything in this contemplation within a month. However, it is essential that you at least begin the process.

 

Practical Considerations

 

The absence of a preplanned closure to the dying process creates difficulties for the survivors and confusion for the dying person. End of life planning is a gift to those you leave behind. The following is a partial list of ways to prepare for this inevitable point in our lives.

 

1. Advance Directives – how we want to be cared for at the end of our life

 

1. Durable power of attorney – delegates someone to act on your behalf in terms of business and personal matters

 

1. Durable medical power of attorney – appoints someone to request or deny medical care on your behalf

 

1. Directive to physicians (Living Will) – Tells medical workers your wishes regarding life-sustaining care  

 

1. Appointment of an agent to control disposition of remains after

             death

 

1. Appointment of a guardian for children

 

1. Out of hospital Do Not Resuscitate Order (DNR) – instruction to emergency medical personnel or other health care professionals to forgo resuscitation attempts

 

2. Create an Instant Action Folder

 

1. Family members to be notified

 

1. Spiritual teacher and place of worship to be called

 

1. Close friends to be called

 

1. Hospice phone number (if that service has been used)

 

1. Funeral home name and phone number
2. Burial or cremation instructions
3. Doctor’s name and number to certify death

 

1. Names and numbers for attorney, CPA, and life insurance agent

 

1. Where additional information can be found

 

3. Create a Will – a document stating what you want to happen to your property after death

 

1. Estate – total property

 

1. Executor – who will carry out your instructions

 

1. Probate – official proof that your will is genuine

 

1. Interim funds – temporary money from your estate made available to your family from time of death until settlement of your estate

 

1. Living trust – legal entity that can hold assets and can keep assets

out of probate court

 

4. Cherished Possessions

 

1. List what they are

 

1. Decide who will receive each of them

 

1. Why not begin giving away some of them now while you can enjoy the fruits of your generosity, and others’ happiness at receiving them?

 

5. Choose a Funeral Home

 

6. Choose a Burial Option
7. Earth burial – a plot can be purchased beforehand
8. Mausoleum – an above ground burial

 

1. Cremation- choose where you would like your ashes to be distributed

 

1. Body and organ donations – a single donor can potentially help fifty patients

 

 

7. Plan your own Memorial Service

 

1. Who is to be informed

 

1. Clothing that is to be worn

 

1. The viewing of your body (if you so choose)

 

1. Who the pallbearers will be

 

1. To have or not have flowers

 

1. What will occur – the service, music choices, special readings, eulogy, sermon, audiovisual presentation of your life, and specific requests

 

PREPARATION ASSIGNMENT #37   DEATH AND DYING #2

 

Realms of Existence or Levels of Consciousness

 

In which realm do you live each day?

 

The next sets of exercises are perhaps on a less mundane level but challenge us to consider death (and rebirth) in different light. These realms (of rebirth) are taken literally by many who practice the Buddhist spiritual path. They challenge us to consider whether we can set aside disbelief in rebirth or other realms of existence.

 

One the other hand please consider how many times you are reborn in each of these “realms” each day when mindfulness is lacking and we react unskillfully.

 

Buddhadassa Bhikkhu, one of the greatest Thai Buddhist meditation masters of our time, said that there are actually no realms of existence, including the human realm. They merely all take place within our mind.

 

When we break our identification with our self-constructs, we begin to realize that what we are has never been born and will never die.

 

The Realm of Hell Beings

 

1. This mind state arises as a result of serious, sustained, or extreme aggression

 

2. It is an intense, confined and claustrophobic experience

 

3. Our aggression feels justified and our problems are always someone else’s fault

 

4. We react to difficult circumstances and people with anger and hatred

 

5. We want to destroy the circumstances and people that we believe are causing us pain

 

6. We see this hell in war, terrorism, torture, degradation, rage, and revenge

 

7. Those who experience this hell are blinded to the fact that others are suffering as well as themselves
8. Anger and aggressiveness haunts us during the day and during our dreams

 

9. Physical metaphorical descriptions of these hells include ditches of burning coals, swamps filled with rotting corpses, roads paved with razor blades, rivers of boiling water, being looked at with the cold eyes of hatred, having intense feelings of depression, despair, and self-hatred

 

10. We feel trapped and lose hope

 

Please consider how often you live in the hell realm

 

The Realm of Hungry Ghosts

 

1. This is a realm of extreme frustration and unsatisfied desire

 

2. The beings who inhabit this realm wander restlessly, obsessed with what they lack

 

3. They haunt others to have their insatiable desires fulfilled

 

4.    The caricature of these beings is that they have tiny mouths, long thin necks, and huge swollen bellies that can never be filled.  

 

5. The insatiable desire can be for food, drink, money, power, or self- fulfillment of any kind

 

6. These beings are surrounded by an environment of richness or abundance, but their insatiable hunger prevents them from enjoying it

 

7. They are so obsessed by trying to fill their own needs that they do not realize the pain and needs experienced by others, and they have a difficult time with generosity

 

8. Conspicuous consumption, collecting things, and addictions are manifestations of this tendency of mind

 

9. The activity of shopping and buying becomes an end in itself; clothes are kept in the wardrobe and never worn, beautiful objects are locked away and never shared with others

 

10. These individuals fall in love again and again but tire of their relationships and never settle down
11. These are perpetual students who never have enough knowledge

 

12. These are the spiritual seekers who keep sampling all of the spiritual paths without ever making a commitment to one of them.

 

13. In folklore ghosts draw all the warmth out of the atmosphere round them; they suck the energy from others, making everyone in their vicinity feel drained and exhausted. However much you give them they still ask for more.

 

Please consider how often you live in the realm of hungry ghosts

 

The Animal Realm

 

1. Although animals can manifest the characteristics of all the other realms, the primary characteristics are delusion, ignorance, confusion, and slavery

 

2. The suffering that can be felt by animals tend to lead them into further bewilderment and confusion

 

3. Those in the animal realm have acute senses, but their intellect and power of reason  are undeveloped

 

4. Animals typically lead lives of self-absorption – their consciousness is primarily of “self”

 

5. The world is perceived in relation to how it affects them; they experience the duality of self and other but the “other” exists only in relation to self

 

6. Most actions are directed towards the immediate gratification of needs

 

7. They are persistent in their pursuit and take advantage of every opportunity that comes their way without too much concern about the consequences of their actions

 

8. Animals live in fear of human beings who may exploit them due to their greater mental power
9. Those with characteristics of the animal realm are usually conventional, serious and efficient. They may be loyal to their families and friends but may be distrustful of outsiders which leads to racism or religious intolerance

 

10. They may use clichés (“if it was good enough for my family it is good enough for me”), and rely on secondhand opinions because they do not think for themselves.

 

11. They may be intelligent but lack imagination

 

12. They like routine and become anxious when it is disturbed.

 

13. Life revolves around food, sleep, sex and self-preservation

 

14. There is a sense of restriction and limitation – an absence of vision

 

Please consider how often you live in the animal realm

 

The Human Realm

 

1. The human realm is founded upon communication and relationship

 

2. Human beings are curious, prideful, emotional and affected by others.

 

3. There is a creative urge and a striving for (unachievable) perfection.

 

4. There is an intense desire for knowledge and to bring everything under their control

 

5. There is a passion for beauty and self-expression

 

6. There is the suffering that comes from impermanency, loss, and not being able to keep what we love

 

7. Humans are never ultimately satisfied with their achievements, and are always moving on to something new

 

8. There are deeply rooted views of having a permanent self at the core of one’s experience

 

9. With its balance of pleasure and pain, the human realm offers the best opportunity to attain enlightenment

 

10. Humans feel drawn to awakening like a moth is drawn to a flame

 

Please consider how much of the time you are living in the human realm

 

The Realm of Jealous Gods

 

1. The jealous gods are the opponents of the higher gods and are always at war with them due to jealousy and envy

 

2. They have the same divine nature as the gods, with all their intelligence, power, and advantages. However, their tendency

         towards aggression and violence can make them appear demonic

 

3. Their aggression and jealousy may be fostered by believing that some relationship, status or possession belongs to them, and is being denied by others

 

4. They possess the same qualities as warriors down through the ages: courage, leadership, dynamism, and tremendous energy

 

5. They are capable of doing great good or great evil; they can be noble or ruthless

 

6. They believe that the grass is always greener on the other side

 

7. They can go to extremes and they tend to see rivals everywhere

 

8. They are attracted to meditation practices in order to gain power

 

9. They are envious of those who experience profound peace, bliss, and clarity

 

Please consider how often you live in the realm of jealous gods

 

The Realm of the Gods

 

1. It is described in similar terms to the heaven that is part of many other religions. However, this is still an impermanent existence.

 

2. The gods are highly intelligent, creative, possess great powers and are able to achieve the most advanced states of meditation  

 

3. It is a world of indulgence

 

4. Since they are filled with so much pleasure, it is difficult for them to imagine or prepare for their own death. When death does arrive, it tends to engender great suffering

 

5. The spiritual disadvantage of this realm is that there is so much pleasure and fulfillment that it is difficult to find the motivation to practice (which is why the human birth is considered the best from this perspective)

 

6. Humans may try to mirror this realm by seeking “heaven on earth.” Life is seen as a search for happiness and fulfillment. It can turn into an obsessive search for youth, beauty, health, longevity, and ego- based spirituality.

 

7. One can try to create this type of life by denying their shadow side and the suffering that exists in the human realm

 

Please consider how often you attempt to live in the realm of gods

 

Please take time this month to devote to these exercises. May you be well, happy and peaceful.