The following are three discourses given by the Buddha in relation to patience. The third one is a story that posits a model of what it means to truly be patient. (some of these have been revised for clarification and to reflect current day communication style.) Please take time to deeply contemplate these sutras, and work towards following his teachings as best you can:
The characteristic of patience is acceptance, its function is to
endure, and its manifestation is tolerance.
The cause of patience is understanding how things really are, and
the effect of patience is calm tranquility despite provocation..
Patience of the will produces forgiving forbearance.
Patience of the intellect produces faithful confidence.
Internal tolerance of states within oneself is patient endurance, and external tolerance of other beings is forbearance & forgiveness.
Those who patiently protect themselves, also protect others.
Those who patiently protect others, also protect themselves.
One is never called clever from speaking much.
The patient one, free from anger, free from fear,
only such one is rightly called clever.
Dhammapada 258
The following was spoken by Buddha to his son Rahula
Rahula, develop a mind like earth, then contacts of arisen like and dislike
do not obsess your mind! Rahula, on the earth is dumped both pure & impure, excreta, urine, saliva, pus, blood, but the earth does not disgust any of those. So make your mind like earth!
Rahula, develop a mind like water, then contacts of arisen pleasure and pain do not seize your mind. Rahula with water both the pure and the impure are cleaned… Washed away with water are excreta, urine, saliva, pus, and blood, yet water does not despise any of that! Even so craft the mind like water.
Rahula, develop a mind like fire, then, contacts of arisen attraction & aversion will not consume nor hang on your mind! Rahula, fire burns the pure and the impure, burns excreta, urine, saliva, pus, and blood yet fire does not loathe any of that. In the same manner refine the mind like fire!
Rahula, develop a mind similar to space, then, contacts of arisen delight and frustration do not take hold of nor remain in your mind. Rahula, space does not settle anywhere! Similarly make the mind unsettled & unestablished like open space. When you expand a mind like space, contacts of delight & frustration will neither dominate nor obsess your mind. Majjhima Nikaya 62
“Once, monks, in this same Savatthi, there was a lady of a household named Vedehika. This good report about Lady Vedehika had circulated: ‘Lady Vedehika is gentle. Lady Vedehika is even-tempered. Lady Vedehika is calm.’ Now, Lady Vedehika had a slave named Kali who was diligent, deft, & neat in her work. The thought occurred to Kali the slave: ‘This good report about my Lady Vedehika has circulated: “Lady Vedehika is even-tempered. Lady Vedehika is gentle. Lady Vedehika is calm.” Now, is anger present in my lady without showing, or is it absent? Or is it just because I’m diligent, deft, & neat in my work that the anger present in my lady doesn’t show? Why don’t I test her?’
“So Kali the slave got up after daybreak. Then Lady Vedehika said to her: ‘Hey, Kali!’
“‘Yes, madam?’
“‘Why did you get up after daybreak?’
“‘No reason, madam.’
“‘No reason, you wicked slave, and yet you get up after daybreak?’ Angered & displeased, she scowled.
“Then the thought occurred to Kali the slave: ‘Anger is present in my lady without showing, and not absent. And it’s just because I’m diligent, deft, & neat in my work that the anger present in my lady doesn’t show. Why don’t I test her some more?’
“So Kali the slave got up later in the day. Then Lady Vedehika said to her: ‘Hey, Kali!’
“‘Yes, madam?’
“‘Why did you get up later in the day?’
“‘No reason, madam.’
“‘No reason, you wicked slave, and yet you get up later in the day?’ Angered & displeased, she grumbled.
“Then the thought occurred to Kali the slave: ‘Anger is present in my lady without showing, and not absent. And it’s just because I’m diligent, deft, & neat in my work that the anger present in my lady doesn’t show. Why don’t I test her some more?’
“So Kali the slave got up even later in the day. Then Lady Vedehika said to her: ‘Hey, Kali!’
“‘Yes, madam?’
“‘Why did you get up even later in the day?’
“‘No reason, madam.’
“‘No reason, you wicked slave, and yet you get up even later in the day?’ Angered & displeased, she grabbed hold of a rolling pin and gave her a whack over the head, cutting it open.
“Then Kali the slave, with blood streaming from her cut-open head, went and denounced her mistress to the neighbors: ‘See, ladies, the gentle one’s handiwork? See the even-tempered one’s handiwork? See the calm one’s handiwork? How could she, angered & displeased with her only slave for getting up after daybreak, grab hold of a rolling pin and give her a whack over the head, cutting it open?’
“After that this evil report about Lady Vedehika circulated: ‘Lady Vedehika is vicious. Lady Vedehika is foul-tempered. Lady Vedehika is violent.’
“In the same way, monks, someone may be ever so gentle, ever so even-tempered, ever so calm, as long as he is not touched by disagreeable aspects of speech. But it is only when disagreeable aspects of speech touch him that he can truly be known as gentle, even-tempered, & calm. I don’t call a monk easy to admonish if he is easy to admonish and makes himself easy to admonish only by reason to gain robes, almsfood, lodging, & medicinal requisites for curing the sick. Why is that? Because if he doesn’t get robes, almsfood, lodging, & medicinal requisites for curing the sick, then he isn’t easy to admonish and doesn’t make himself easy to admonish. But if a monk is easy to admonish and makes himself easy to admonish purely out of esteem for the Dhamma, respect for the Dhamma, reverence for the Dhamma, then I call him easy to admonish. Thus, monks, you should train yourselves: ‘We will be easy to admonish and make ourselves easy to admonish purely out of esteem for the Dhamma, respect for the Dhamma, reverence for the Dhamma.’ That’s how you should train yourselves.
“Monks, there are these five aspects of speech by which others may address you: timely or untimely, true or false, affectionate or harsh, beneficial or unbeneficial, with a mind of good-will or with inner hate. Others may address you in a timely way or an untimely way. They may address you with what is true or what is false. They may address you in an affectionate way or a harsh way. They may address you in a beneficial way or an unbeneficial way. They may address you with a mind of good-will or with inner hate. In any event, you should train yourselves: ‘Our minds will be unaffected and we will say no evil words. We will remain sympathetic to that person’s welfare, with a mind of good will, and with no inner hate. We will keep pervading him with an awareness imbued with good will and, beginning with him, we will keep pervading the all-encompassing world with an awareness imbued with good will — abundant, expansive, immeasurable, free from hostility, free from ill will.’ That’s how you should train yourselves.
“Suppose that a man were to come along carrying a hoe & a basket, saying, ‘I will make this great earth be without earth.’ He would dig here & there, scatter soil here & there, spit here & there, urinate here & there, saying, ‘Be without earth. Be without earth.’ Now, what do you think — would he make this great earth be without earth?”
“No, lord. Why is that? Because this great earth is deep & enormous. It can’t easily be made to be without earth. The man would reap only a share of weariness & disappointment.”
“In the same way, monks, there are these five aspects of speech by which others may address you: timely or untimely, true or false, affectionate or harsh, beneficial or unbeneficial, with a mind of good-will or with inner hate. Others may address you in a timely way or an untimely way. They may address you with what is true or what is false. They may address you in an affectionate way or a harsh way. They may address you in a beneficial way or an unbeneficial way. They may address you with a mind of good-will or with inner hate. In any event, you should train yourselves: ‘(Our minds will be as expansive as the earth.) Our minds will be unaffected and we will say no evil words. We will remain sympathetic to that person’s welfare, with a mind of good will, and with no inner hate. We will keep pervading him with an awareness imbued with good will and, beginning with him, we will keep pervading the all-encompassing world with an awareness imbued with good will equal to the great earth — abundant, expansive, immeasurable, free from hostility, free from ill will.’ That’s how you should train yourselves.
“Suppose that a man were to come along carrying lac, yellow orpiment, indigo, or crimson, saying, ‘I will draw pictures in space, I will make pictures appear.’ Now, what do you think — would he draw pictures in space & make pictures appear?”
“No, lord. Why is that? Because space is formless & featureless. It’s not easy to draw pictures there and to make them appear. The man would reap only a share of weariness & disappointment.”
“In the same way, monks, there are these five aspects of speech by which others may address you: timely or untimely, true or false, affectionate or harsh, beneficial or unbeneficial, with a mind of good-will or with inner hate. Others may address you in a timely way or an untimely way. They may address you with what is true or what is false. They may address you in an affectionate way or a harsh way. They may address you in a beneficial way or an unbeneficial way. They may address you with a mind of good-will or with inner hate. In any event, you should train yourselves: ‘(Our minds will be as expansive as the sky.) Our minds will be unaffected and we will say no evil words. We will remain sympathetic to that person’s welfare, with a mind of good will, and with no inner hate. We will keep pervading him with an awareness imbued with good will and, beginning with him, we will keep pervading the all-encompassing world with an awareness imbued with good will equal to space — abundant, expansive, immeasurable, free from hostility, free from ill will.’ That’s how you should train yourselves.
“Suppose that a man were to come along carrying a burning grass torch and saying, ‘With this burning grass torch I will heat up the river Ganges and make it boil.’ Now, what do you think — would he, with that burning grass torch, heat up the river Ganges and make it boil?”
“No, lord. Why is that? Because the river Ganges is deep & enormous. It’s not easy to heat it up and make it boil with a burning grass torch. The man would reap only a share of weariness & disappointment.”
“In the same way, monks, there are these five aspects of speech by which others may address you: timely or untimely, true or false, affectionate or harsh, beneficial or unbeneficial, with a mind of good-will or with inner hate. Others may address you in a timely way or an untimely way. They may address you with what is true or what is false. They may address you in an affectionate way or a harsh way. They may address you in a beneficial way or an unbeneficial way. They may address you with a mind of good-will or with inner hate. In any event, you should train yourselves: ‘(Our minds will extinguish all anger or enmity.) Our minds will be unaffected and we will say no evil words. We will remain sympathetic to that person’s welfare, with a mind of good will, and with no inner hate. We will keep pervading him with an awareness imbued with good will and, beginning with him, we will keep pervading the all-encompassing world with an awareness imbued with good will equal to the river Ganges — abundant, expansive, immeasurable, free from hostility, free from ill will.’ That’s how you should train yourselves.
“Suppose there were a catskin bag — beaten, well-beaten, beaten through & through, soft, silky, free of rustling & crackling — and a man were to come along carrying a stick or shard and saying, ‘With this stick or shard I will take this catskin bag — beaten, well-beaten, beaten through & through, soft, silky, free of rustling & crackling — and I will make it rustle & crackle.’ Now, what do you think — would he, with that stick or shard, take that catskin bag — beaten, well-beaten, beaten through & through, soft, silky, free of rustling & crackling — and make it rustle & crackle?”
“No, lord. Why is that? Because the catskin bag is beaten, well-beaten, beaten through & through, soft, silky, free of rustling & crackling. It’s not easy to make it rustle & crackle with a stick or shard. The man would reap only a share of weariness & disappointment.”
“In the same way, monks, there are these five aspects of speech by which others may address you: timely or untimely, true or false, affectionate or harsh, beneficial or unbeneficial, with a mind of good-will or with inner hate. Others may address you in a timely way or an untimely way. They may address you with what is true or what is false. They may address you in an affectionate way or a harsh way. They may address you in a beneficial way or an unbeneficial way. They may address you with a mind of good-will or with inner hate. In any event, you should train yourselves: ‘(Our minds will remain soft, pliable and not rigid.) Our minds will be unaffected and we will say no evil words. We will remain sympathetic to that person’s welfare, with a mind of good will, and with no inner hate. We will keep pervading him with an awareness imbued with good will and, beginning with him, we will keep pervading the all-encompassing world with an awareness imbued with good will equal to a catskin bag — abundant, expansive, immeasurable, free from hostility, free from ill will.’ That’s how you should train yourselves.
ONE YEAR TRAINING PREPARATION ASSIGNMENT #21
PATIENCE #2
If the person you are talking to doesn’t appear to be listening, be patient. It may simply be that he has a small piece of fluff in his ear.
Pooh’s Little Instruction Book.
The following are contemplations/exercises regarding Patience:
- When did you last employ the power of patience? What were the circumstances? How did it feel? What helped you to act patiently? What happened as a result?
- When was the last time someone was very patient with you? How did he or she treat you? How did it feel? What were you able to do or learn as a consequence?
- Boredom is, in one sense, an inability to delay gratification and having a low tolerance for frustration. It manifests as aversion. When we say that something is boring, it means that we do not have tolerance for something. As a result, instead of being present with the experience (which is never really boring), we may try to alleviate the feelings of aversion by searching for any distraction.
Go on boredom fast for one week. Refuse to consider any experience boring. When the mind begins to label an experience as boring, take that as a trigger or a wake-up mechanism to discover both the process of what is occurring, and how the present experience is actually dynamically changing every moment.
Notice how this changes the nature of your experience.
- Whenever you feel impatient, ask yourself if this situation will matter in one minute, one hour, one day, one week, one month, one year, or at the time of your death.
- Impatience has to do with the ideas of wasting time, inconvenience, deserving special treatment, and the illusion of control. Take time to reflect on this statement and record in your journal which of these mental attributes arise each time you feel impatience.
PLEASE TAKE THE TIME TO WORK THROUGH THESE CONTEMPLATIONS. TRY NOT TO BECOME IMPATIENT WITH THEM.
