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Loving –Kindness Meditation to start a Sitting

By June 27, 2016Dharma Talks

One of the most revered mind states in Buddhist practice is the four practices of the Brahma Viharas (also known as the Divine Abodes). The mind states of Loving-kindness, Compassion, Appreciative/Sympathetic Joy, and Equanimity are the four mind states that we can use is almost every life situation. In fact, I can’t think of one where they wouldn’t be of benefit.
Loving-kindness is the mind state that wishes all beings could enjoy wellness, happiness and peace. If situations arise where you or others are angry, resentful, unhappy, ill at ease and fearful, or sick, we can make this wish for our self or others by saying or reflecting “May ….(I/they) be well, happy and peaceful”.
Compassion is the mind state that wishes that all beings be safe, and free from harm, difficulties, or problems. Given the anger, greed, and ignorance in the world, we know that beings all throughout the world are suffering in some way. And we often experience suffering our self and see the suffering of friends, family, and other sentient beings. In those situations we can reflect on the practice of compassion and offer this wish “May no harm come to me (them). May no difficulty come to me (them). May no problems come to me (them).”
Sympathetic joy is often the forgotten divine mental abode. Pleasant and enjoyable experiences (although not that rare) are often take for granted. We don’t spend even a minute reflecting on the happiness and joy that may arise for our self or others. We rush past these joyful moments- on to the next “been there done that” moment. But we have an opportunity to reflect for a moment and share in the joy of others. Joy doesn’t belong to anyone. It is available for everyone. When situation of joy arise for our self or others please take a moment and reflect on this joy: “May I (they) always meet with success and happiness.”
Equanimity is the crown and glory of these four Divine Abodes. It tempers Loving kindness from becoming sentimental emotional attachment. It tempers compassion from moving to sorrow and despair at the suffering of others. It tempers Joy from becoming excitement. And it has the qualities of wisdom (knowledge and awareness of cause and effect) and compassion combined to produce the even minded reflection “May I (they) have the patience, the courage, the wisdom, and determination to meet and overcome the inevitable difficulties, problems, and disappointments of life.
The Metta (loving-kindness) meditation is a healing meditation for our hearts. I learned the Metta meditation below (and the aspects above) from Bhante Gunaratana (a Sri Lankan Theravada monk and wonderful teacher) and learned the same meditation from my teacher Matt Flickstein. Bhante practiced this Metta meditation in Malaysia over 40 years ago. He was teaching meditation to children and formulated this meditation as a way for them to practice a simple yet very profound meditation. It is so beautiful. You may be aware of other Metta meditations but this is a special and slightly different one. It groups all beings into four categories. The first group is “me” -a group of one. Then there is the group of our loved ones, our teachers, our friends and those people we hold in highest regard (group 2). This is a small group. The third group is enormous. It consists of all those people we don’t know, no matter where they are. It also consists of all sentient beings everywhere- all animals, all divas, gods, all living breathing beings- billions of beings. And the last group is the difficult people in our lives. (Sometimes these people are also in the loved ones group!) It also includes those beings that have hurt us, demeaned us, used us and abused us. You may wonder why we would wish success on our difficult people who may dislike and even hate us. It’s because they aren’t successful when they are in a state of anger or abusive mind state. They aren’t successful in relationships, or in their own personal growth. If they were more successful in these areas perhaps they wouldn’t dislike us!
The meditation begins by wishing Metta (friendliness and kindness) to our self (group one). Then it proceeds onto the other groups. I begin every daily meditation with this meditation. For me it helps to heal any wounds that may be festering beneath conscious awareness. So here it is. Recite this to yourself beginning with (I).  (You might commit it to memory eventually if you find it helpful).
“May ….(I) be well, happy and peaceful
May no harm come to me (them)
May no difficulty come to me (them)
May no problems come to me. (them)
May I (they) always meet with success.
May I (they) have the patience, the courage, the wisdom, and determination
To meet and overcome the inevitable
Difficulties, problems, and disappointments of life.”
Rest a few minutes in that wish for your happiness, then proceed to wish those loved ones, friends, teachers, and all those who we hold in highest regard (group 2) all the same wishes by repeating the meditation. Then proceed to group three and finally to those difficult people in your life. It’s a meditation that heals the heart. An even if nothing is arising that is bothersome it is a peaceful abiding for the start of meditation.  May you be well, happy and peaceful.  Floyd